1. blshiit:

    DO U NEED A STEPMOM?!?

    (via you-get-a-metaphor)

  2. soufflesandbowties:

    50% of my jokes are self deprecating and 50% are self congratulatory like i’ll say “wow its hot in here…. just like me” and 5 seconds later point at a trash can and say “me”

    (Source: soufflles, via tyleroakley)

  3. lidstrom:

    ohvegeta:

    “YEAH, WELL, I’M NOT EATING MY BROCCOLI EITHER!”

    other captions for this picture:

    “I DON’T CARE, PAUL, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD”

    “NO YOU CAN’T TRIPLE STAMP A DOUBLE STAMP, YOU CAN’T TRIPLE STAMP A DOUBLE STAMP”

    “MOM, HE KEEPS PUTTING HIS HANDS ON MY SIDE OF THE CAR”

    “I DO NOT EAT POOP, MOOOOM HE SAID I EAT POOP”

    “NO, BULBASAUR SUCKS - I SAID BULBASAUR SUCKS, CHARIZARD IS SO MUCH BETTER”

    “YOU ALWAYS LET ERIC GET A POWER RANGER AND YOU NEVER LET ME GET ANYTHING MOM I WISH I WAS NEVER BOOOOOORN”

    MOM I WANTED LEGOS, THESE ARE MEGA BLOKS.  NO MOM THEY ARE NOT THE SAME GOD”

    (Source: imaginesaam, via jordaanstaal)

  4. (Source: batfricker, via kreally)

  5. discrace:

    me the day i graduate highschool

    image

    (via kreally)

    the-lady-swan:

    It’s all I kept thinking of last night after I saw Emma in her maroon leather jacket and the light coming from her hands. I’m sorry. hahaha.

    (via deputyhook)

  6. fatted:

    Family: *says something racist*
    Family: *says something sexist*
    Family: *says something homophobic*
    Family: *makes fun of people with tattoos*
    Family: *tells you why you’re bad at life*
    Family: why don’t you wanna spend time with us?

    (via you-get-a-metaphor)

  7. (Source: jailashaye, via waakeme-up)

    scarypoke:

    babygirl-in-daddys-world:

    mister-daddy:

    daddys-rainbow-princess:

    His face when he says “nickel” is great! XD

    This reminds me of my little girl because her pants never have pockets

    Haha Daddy you’re right! I neverrrrr have pockets, but that’s why you have them! You’re my pockets Daddy. ♥

    What the fucking shit

    (Source: angryblackman, via you-get-a-metaphor)

  8. WHEN MY FRIEND GETS SLOPPY DRUNK AND I HAVE TO DELIVER HER TO HER BOYFRIEND

    dejanentendu:

    college-life-crisis:

    image

    I almost spit out my water

    (via ruinedchildhood)

  9. cecilybestrong:

    shavingryansprivates:

    remember in 2012 when that lady tried restoring that painting of jesus

    image

    image

    (via paulinefleming)

  10. magpizza:

    ingridsbergman:

    jillbiden:

    avferreira:

    Just because a person is a good actor, doesn’t mean they’d be good in any role. 

    But Meryl Streep though.

    image

    image

    (via you-get-a-metaphor)

  11. coochiepebble:

    *Hears footsteps towards my room* Please dont

    (via you-get-a-metaphor)

    michaellfatica:

    steal his look: corey cott

    pumpkin obama mask = $18.00

    (via janetvandegraaff)

  12. eupxoric:

    there’s nothing like NYC at night

    (via newyorkcitydreams)



  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
  4. 4
  5. 5